He has you hooked in with your desperate attempts to help him, be there for him; You give him what HE needs to be okay. Especially your body. No one is more adept at using sex as a weapon, and it is either his way of apologizing and shutting you up, or yet another avenue of controlling you by withholding it. If your married, he may force it on you, whether you are in the mood or not. This is not a man that likes to be denied HIS wishes, his wants or what he’s asking from you. So he will just take it if possible.
If he doesn’t go that far, he will still punish you with an attitude or simmering anger, saying something mean and hurtful, throwing in your face other women would do what he wants, or is basically being the biggest cry-baby having a temper-tantrum complete with stomping off to his room huffing and pouting-and then accuses YOU of doing this, when he denies YOU.
The fact that you-a beautiful, big hearted, intelligent, often successful woman with wonderful friends, perhaps family, independent and who could do a lot better than him is even giving him the time of day, much less able to be so manipulated by him- that’s his pay off. You are now an epic co-dependant.
His insatiable ego that is a bottomless pit, constantly starving for admiration, attention and to control a woman like you, is all that he is really after. That, and sex. And unfortunately dear sisters-you are probably NOT the only one. Although he may profess with words to the contrary, he makes the suspicion of you really NOT being the only one pretty clear, too-also in subtle ways. He will NEVER admit to seeing other women, sleeping with other women or that he is doing this with others- until you push him too far and then he does so just to hurt you. But if he still wants to play with you then-no, no that might be the thing that finally sets you off and has you leaving. But he will imply, subtly insinuate by comparing you to past loves, suggesting that there are other women who are “Trying to get in, but don’t worry, “YOU’RE in, I just have to put the pieces of the puzzle together that‘s all”.
You will hear from him about all the attention he is receiving from females everywhere-at the job, at the grocery store, that an old girlfriend called him out of the blue- there is always an invisible entourage of females waiting in the wings. He will tell you how his buddies tried to hook him up with some “cute young drunk chick” but that he could only think about you. He will tell you that he ran into someone he “used to want”, but that he only wants you now, instead. If he’s highly attractive, you will believe it. If he meets any of your female friends, he will again-subtly suggest that they are hot or sexy, attractive or successful in someway, has something you don’t- and you then become insecure-no matter how much you trust your girlfriends.
Yet conversely, he’s not okay with any attention you may be getting from men. In fact, the subject never comes up from him. He never asks. He’s never curious. Then he will “test” you with an outrageous question such as “So who’s been tasting your sweet lips lately?” You better be sure you answer “No one, my lips are only for you”-because if you didn’t, all hell would break loose. He wouldn’t get outwardly angry. He wouldn’t start calling you a slut or a tease or “break up with you.” He would however either speak of some other woman, and that’s how you will learn you are not the only one, or he will straight up ignore you. By making plans to see you, then blowing you off. “Punishing” you.
Of course there is no other for you, because you were under the impression that you and he had something special, and you are “waiting” for him to get his shit together, to offer you the promises of what he’s made to you to come to fruition. So you wouldn’t answer this question with an affirmative. Yet. Eventually, you WILL “test” him yourself, by trying to make him jealous. If you haven’t stooped to this game yet, then let me warn you now: Don’t go there. Oh, it will work. He WILL get jealous. And you will get emotionally spanked-and hard. Again, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If you see others, then you are not worth getting himself together for, why should he bother, and he will hurt you with information concerning other women trying to get into his life. If you make it seem that you only have eyes for him, he will think that you are a doormat, easily controlled and that he’s “got” you like that, and his respect level for you will plummet…if it can get any lower than it already is. He will see you as “too easy”, not enough of a “challenge”-yet if you weren’t “easy”, then he’d be angry with you. He really doesn’t want the chase. What he wants is impossible to give….but that doesn’t stop us from trying.
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