Moving on from the damage, pt 2

My apologies, I have a family member in the hospital and my signal was not so great at my new place. But, my relative is doing much better, being released and internet problems fixed, so now I hope to get back to blogging consistently. Thanks to those who wrote with encouraging words.

So now you’ve decided to leave him. The truth is, sometimes they hope you will end it, so then he’d have more reason to feel sorry for himself, more self pity so then the next woman that came along could hear his sad story about YOU. And to throw it back in your face-because if you are the one who ended it, what are you so upset about? Why are you coming back around with unsolved questions? You dumped him, remember? You just hurt HIM. You didn’t want him, you rejected him, you weren’t patient enough, understanding enough, and you left him, and gave up on him. But understand something: He won’t let you be the one to end it.

Some will do whatever he can to have you take him back- the "hoovering" and then he will cruelly and viciously dump you. If he is unable to get that chance, then no matter the truth-the next woman to come along will be told that “I ended it with her", about you. If you truly end it, trust me, he will vacillate back and forth between the “You dumped and hurt me!” to twisting it around again, blaming his abuse to you to be that he just didn’t want you, something wasn’t there, he tried, he rejected YOU but because he was “afraid” to hurt you, he didn’t know how to come right out, sit you down and be honest with you, because he was afraid of what you would do if he truly hurt you and let you down like that. Yes, he’s THAT good at psychological warfare, that by the time you’re done, even when YOU are ending it, he makes you feel that HE was the one who really wanted out.

And he will convince everyone outside of the two of you of this as well. The whole “She didn’t fire me, I quit!’ mentality, stripping you of your dignity and your right to stand up for yourself, to feel proud of yourself that you were strong enough to throw him away and get better. No one leaves him-he decides when you can go.

You know-he’s the DECIDER. You will pay for ending with him in some way, some form. But if you have been successful in your attempts to expose him, have anything “on him”, and he truly realizes you are not the women to “fuck with” anymore, will he leave you be, and leave you. As hard as it is, you also have to do the same. Not because he deserves it-he deserves all your wrath and then some, and you feel like you could tell him off for the next 20 years and never take a break-you have to stop. For no other reason than HE DOESN'T CARE.

He’s not listening. If you are reduced to writing him, he’s not reading your words. He reads them but doesn’t GET IT. He will then frustrate you further, as he denies not receiving your texts, claims to be deleting them before reading them, and the same with email. Don’t believe this. After many times of denying, I finally utilized “read receipt” on texts and email notifications-when they were opened and how long they were opened for without his knowledge, just to prove to myself that I’m not crazy. Considering that I’ve been with 3 men like this who all say and do the same things-trust me, they are paying attention. Their paranoia alone has them curious and wondering where they stand with you and what you may be “scheming” up.