A brief interlude, because I need to say this

The men in our lives, are not Matt Mcanaughy from "Ghost of Girlfriends Past." In other words, there is no magical epiphany that he will have, he isn't just a player who is scared of being hurt again, scarred by the loss of his parents.

Though we want to think he is.

He's not the guys in "He's just not that into you." Speak of-the author of that book and movie, Greg Behrendt, also wrote a best-seller called "It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken." Both are fantastic books/guides to navigating an unrequited relationship. However-neither will work on dealing with a personality disordered person, a drug addicted or alcoholic person, or the toxic types of relationships that got you here.

Christian Carter's tricks to how to win the love of any man, Mimi Tanner's guide to the same-and any other internet authors who offer you sage wisdom and advice as to how to get your ex back, how to make him fall in love with you and how to be irresitable to men-how to be "the cool girl"-won't work, either.

Unfortunatly, all the "games" of love -including "The Rules" and even Dr. Phil-are geared and aimed towards the average man and woman. Sure, we all have "issues." Men are renowned for commitment issues, detaching sexually and often times, being "jerks." So, much of this advice is not only directed towards those types of "jerks", but also younger people who are trying to navigate the dating scene.

Even the course of how to re-ignite your marriage, tips on being that woman every man desires and wants and every woman wants to be-won't work.

In fact, I would like to think that the authors of all the above-if they truly knew the man and the relationship you've been involved with, would not only refund your money, but tell you do not pass go, do not collect 200.00-but get straight directly out of the game, period. LOSE HIM.

There is no "game" you can play, stragedies you can take, psycology you can use, to get your man to straight up, fly right, turn around and become the man of your dreams. There is nothing you can do to enchant him, captivate him and make him fall head over heels madly in love with you. Unless of course, abusing HIM is your thing. Then he may give you a shot.

All told-the things that are designed to help people figure out these things called relationships, get inside the minds of men and women-are designed to do that with the non-disordered folks, that yes, really do exsist. So, don't waste your time with this stuff, or your money.

The biggest thing they will tell you is that you need to play hard to get.

If you think these tips will work for you-go ahead and try it. Then see what happens-and it won't be what they tell you will happen.

So pass on that stuff-and stick to sources that can help you to identify and deal with the disordered people.

Just some friendly advice from someone who's been there, too.