One of the things that is so hurtful and maddening in dealing with personality disordered souls, is that when it's all said and done-they move on, apparently unscathed, seeming not to care, able to sleep, able to eat-and most likely with someone else.
As we feel despair the likes of which we've probably never felt in life before-they are 'fine'. In fact, they often rub that into our faces, particularly when they are LAUGHING. Laughing at our pain, our suffering and making a mockery of us.
Often this is what drives us to thoughts of revenge. We are driven to a madness because of all the crazymaking and hurt that has been done, and they get away with it. Scott -free. Essentially, they get away with emotional molestation and mind rape.
I wrote in an earlier post that this is a huge part of our pain-especially the burden of "proof" that seems to be on us, as they do walk away, calm, cool and collected, leaving us in shatters looking like we ARE the very "crazy" that he's blabbed all over town that we are. I wrote that in this situation, what can we do? It's not like there is emotional abuse court. There is no National Coalition Against Domestic Psychological Abuse."
Thanks to an article posted within a comment here by Julie-well, I may end up eating those words, and I would savor every bite.
I invited you to look at this article-if for nothing more, some hope. France is recognizing that emotional violence is AS BAD and IS a pre-cursor to more overt forms of abuse-and they may be setting out to do something about it.
You know why you should blog? For that reason. To keep a journal? For that reason. To tell your family and friends? You guessed it-DOCUMENTATION.
Because I will tell you something right now-that article alone almost had me thinking of getting a lawyer and suing the psycho that drove me to writing this blog.
After all-I am no Steven King, I couldn't of made up this shit if I tried.
And prior to the blog-I wrote a story of the relationship. No fiction, no embellishment, and people who could collaborate it, too. I did it because it was therapeutic, but had I known I could do it to give him that 'consequence'-I would of done that, too. People sue each other every day in the US for the most petty and bullshit of things. Finally, something that is worthy of restitution, and that could spare another woman from the clutches of these jerks. No, it may not "cure" an abuser, it may not "stop" one. What it will do is be on his record and other women will be aware of his history. It may not prevent her from being involved.....BUT....I think that for those of us who have been hit by this sort of psychological warfare-it is the checkmate needed to re-empower us in some form, and hey-if ALL the women they dated did this, maybe they'd be some sort of "repeat offender" and there would be more severe consequences.
I don't know how it would work, but you can't drive a car without a valid license, and if you keep getting moving violations you have to pay fines, higher insurance, etc. Some system like that might be just what the world needs, for the psychos committing emotional crimes.
I will be watching this closely to see how it develops, but YEA FRANCE!!!!!
How bout we pitch this to the state of California? They always set the precedent here in the states.....
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/france_proposes_tagging_psychological_abuse_measures_against_domestic_violence
Thanks again to Julie for posting this article. This really made my day!
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Regarding your blog post, as always, awesome writing and so very true! However, one thing really caught my eye;
ReplyDelete"It may not prevent her from being involved.....BUT..."
It reminded me of my current situation in the regard that, since HE put her in the middle of this, she and I have had "words" in the past. SHE has been made aware (by myself) of what HE is. SHE has even seen it happen. SHE now knows that HE flat out lied to her face about his true marital status for at least three months. HIS mother had to be the one to tell her the truth. Yet SHE is still with him?
Normally, were this person a friend of mine or merely the fact that she is a woman who appears to be intelligent, I would have a lot of sympathy. However, since she has been warned, she has seen what he has done to me and what he is capable of..AND done to her....I have absolutely NO empathy for what he will, and he WILL, put her through.
I found I had to back off from that situation, despite her continuous blog posts about myself, because it is time to take care of ME now. I spoke out and informed her of the truth. That is all I can do. At this point, it's out of my hands and quite frankly, she will get what she deserves. I know that's harsh but when the woman is bad-mouthing me and knows the damn truth....
Every day I remind myself that it may hurt now, my life is in tatters and I have to have strength to put it all back together again BUT this man, whom my son refers to as "the vicious moron" did NOT take my soul. THAT is still mine. :)
You're welcome, my dear! How could I NOT share this news? :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have decided to create my own blog centered around my story. I'm going to try to, in my writing about it, talk about my feelings and thoughts at the time these things were happening as well as how I see them now. Go Hindsight! ;)
In the past few years, I've written and documented A LOT of the things that happened. I talked about these things with my family and friends too. Gratefully, my parent's were the ones, in the end, who had the courage to demand that this man get the hell out of my life and our country. It's only now that I am beginning to recall the little things, not the violent rages, that should have smacked me in the head as very clear warning signs. I'm beginning to document those too as I recall them.
So....thank you, Hon, for aiding and abetting in my mustering up the courage to speak out. :)
You know what keeps me putting one foot in front of the other PB, when all I want to do is lay down and sleep and not wake up again?
ReplyDeleteMy belief that beyond this mortal life there IS an Emotional Abuse Court - one presided over by a higher Judge than any here on earth.
I think that one day, all the evil scrotes who so callously rip our lives apart and cruelly tear our hearts and minds to shreds, will face that Judge in that EAC and that when found guilty their punishment will be to feel tenfold, a hundredfold, a thousandfold, what they put us through.
There won't be any psychopath-cannot feel- get out of jail free cards either: they will be instantly given the gifts they are so lacking here mortally - like the capacity for remorse and empathy and the ability to feel the pain of another person.
Then they will know what they did.
They won't be able to use any of their mortal diversion tactics. They won't be able to evade, blameshift, gaslight, crazymake or project.
They will FEEL.
They will finally 'get it'.
They will not escape again.
Romans 12:19-21:
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Julie-again you bring up a great topic for a post, and that is, what of the other woman? And YES you go girl, on starting your blog-when you are ready, I will link it to mine! Its a huge help in healing, getting it all out....
ReplyDeleteEx Mrs. Jekyl/Hyde......I believe that, too!! You can look at the science of it, and then for me, I can question the reason why God would allow such people to be here. Then again, I often wonder if it isn't God, but a negative force that people fall under.
Either way, I DO believe that they WILL know someday. Its not for me to judge and forgive-because I am too confused to know whether I shoud pity them, or hate them-but I do know, that in life everything has cause and effect, action vs re-action.
The best revenge is living well-and I have turned over that to God myself. Interstingly enough, I do have a story of "karma" of one of these types. God does work in mysterious ways.
Its just nice sometimes, to see the vengeance of the universe (karma, to some) come around in our life times. The amazing thing for me?
When and IF we do see it-we are not as "happy" or "angry" or satified as we'd think. As being compassionate, loving and good people-we really DONT wish hardship and suffering on people as much as our hurt and anger fantasies think so. When it happens, we feel compassion.
God heals us, by taking OUR pain away, They however, have their own personal hell everyday. They do feel-FOR THEMSEVLES, and they are NEVER HAPPY> that's hell enough right there.
Great writing, btw. I think if all of us women started blogging, we'd have a fantastic platform to educate the world. From the blogs of women I've read-we all seem to have a special something in explaining how it is, and to do so eloquently. It all starts somewhere-sometimes, the world can change simply by refusing to stand up on a bus :) Hugs:)