They will borrow your money. And not pay it back, or you will have to chase them all over town for weeks and threaten to play your own home version of “bill collector” or you will have to take them to court OR-you will just lose a lot of money. It isn’t because they don’t have it to pay back. Its because they feel entitled to it somehow.
My abuser tried to scam me for 200.00. I was lucky. He managed to scam one woman of 8,000. He even signed a promissory note that he would pay it back. According to him, she cheated on him. While he was sending buddies in to do rehab work on her house. He said that he if invoiced her, it would probably come to 10k. She threatened to take him to court, because he was refusing to pay it back, on the grounds that she cheated on him. Told me that he would just have his buddies write up receipts and in court it would look like she owed HIM money.
Evidentely, he ran into her a few months later and “talked her out of it” (going to court.) Says him: “I think she felt guilty.” He ended up filing for bankruptcy-so she couldn’t sue or garnish wages anyway. Have no idea if he paid her back. If so, it would be only a reason to have to keep seeing her, having to keep haunting her life. I image it would be a bit here, a bit there. Or she’s just out 8k. You know, because SHE’s the bad one.
My psycho was horrible with money and part of that was due to addiction. For those psychos who have money, they are totally tight with it, spend freely on themselves, and very little on anyone else. They use money as leverage, power and control...so either way.....you won't get rich being with a psycho. This would be financial abuse, just one of many "subtle" ways that these guys abuse and use women. They have no pride and will let you support them, buy them things, take care of them, pamper them and treat them....and rarely give it back, if ever. If they are broke, they have no problems being with women who make more. If they have more money than you, they have no problems in never letting you forget that, and if its somewhat of an even playing field.....somehow, they will extort it out of you.
( I found it highly ironic and not the least bit surprising that my psycho is "fans" of only 2 things on his Facebook page....and one of them is "Hey, it's free!" The other is again ironically, a woman who has written a book about bad relationships and abuse.You know, like me;) They will always find a way to try and get under your skin, ever so subtly:)
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They are good at hiding anything of value from you but Heaven forbid you do not account for every detail to them.
ReplyDeleteMine took off to another country and left $11,000.00 of debt behind that he refuses to acknowledge or take responsibility for, even in part. His violence got me evicted from my home of ten years. He made sure that I lost everything when he knew he was going to abandon the marriage...and, of course, it was "all MY fault".
So, here I sit with attorneys in two countries and legal papers flying everywhere...
I often wonder why they feel above the law, above accountability and above responsibility? I've never felt "entitled" to anything in my life. Of course, I was raised by a family who taught me that hard work and effort is what brings success and comfort in life. I don't get it...at all. :)
That's part of the problem.....their ways are so foreign to us...but then again, I think ours (integrity, compassion, etc...) are just as foreign to them. Unlike them, we don't have "hate" for them, whereas it sure seems like they resent the hell out of us for being "good."
ReplyDeleteI think they find fault and ways to "justify" being entitled or "owed" whatever, so then they can just take and feel no guilt. Not that I'm sure they ever do! Hugs :)
Yes, he was expensive. I remember how many home-made brownies, how many chocolates and delicious things, how much attention and care, how much time from me to him... everything was that one way.
ReplyDeleteI was never given even a stone: nothing. Nothing at all. And I started to see that the more I gave to him the less he took care for me. He felt entitled, he felt sure, he felt it would never end.
And it's SO AMAZING when I see, now I've learned a little, now I've given up being so "giver", how he's realizing it's over, and that he will have to make an effort to get a bit of that. If any. And again he's started to play his hooking role... being a little attentive, some more mails, some sweet words, trying to praise me...
Ajjj... and whenever this happens, I no longer sigh "awww"... No, now I say "what a stupid person you are, XX". But, of course, he can't hear me. So the action goes on, so he again believes I'm that naïve "giver" one, so I can live the story again hoping to be the strong actor this time.
No more brownies, of course.