Game #18 Married or not, isolation occurs

There are some differences of course, between being married to a psycho, and just dating one. I will address being married vs dating, because I have had plenty of friends actually married to psychos, and there's some things they go thru that luckily, we who just date them, haven't. Yet at the same time, dating them can often be psychologically worse, only because to the outer world, no "real" relationship seems to be happening.

Even if there is traditional "dating", that is, you see each other a lot, you spend the weekends at his place or his yours, you've met a few of each others friends....there's a newer level of dating on the horizon now, and that is, the technological relationship. I never thought I'd see the day, where I can literally not say a word all day, but have still communicated with 30 different people. Whether its email, Facebook messaging, chat rooms, instant messengers, Skype, text messaging...the end result is that it is quite possible to have a full-scale "relationship" via technology. Including "stalking" your social network pages.

I had a long distance involvement once that utilized this. Almost every day, we would yahoo message. In that client, you can also send pictures, videos, and have webcam chats. Not only could we see each other while we chatted, but he was technologically inclined and via his "nanny cams", I was able to see a tour of his whole house. Cellphones also afford the opportunities for this, using camera, video functions and of course, texting. Words of love, sharing of intimate problems and/or experiences, arguing and yes, even sex, can happen "virtually.' Since its all so new, I think it will be awhile until we see books written on what I call "cyberpsychology". but I can tell you that these relationships are occurring with more frequency, and it is probably one of the psycho's favorites ways to control people, and be in a relationship with them. Especially if you find yourself having an affair with one, this is how they can suck you in without bringing risk to their "real" world-well, that is, unless they are Tiger Woods. There is also something about the written word, in that people don't feel as "shy" as they do in real life, hence, your psycho may have gotten very detailed about his life, sex, or other "confessions of feelings" that he may not have been as comfortable sharing for real. So it can feel very intimate even thru an electronic medium.

In any event, keeping you tethered to them via electronic appliances is a very effective way to isolate. the more traditional ways of course are to move you away from friends and family if you are married, and a few other games if you are actually living with him that I'll get into later. If you are just dating,he might keep you at bay and not attend your social functions and always be "busy" when it comes to meeting your friends or family, never seems to want to go out with you publicly and hang out with your group of people, and always an excuse not to bring you to their family functions, or for you to meet "the guys." You hear about people and they are like characters in his life you just know of, yet can't put a face to. And how much easier is it to lie and bullshit behind a screen of some sort? VERY. They just LOVE this. Like I explained elsewhere, its so invasive, they can literally contact you 24 hours a day and control you, because if you dont respond to them right away, they can easily accuse YOU of being up to no good. So they get you primed to be there at their beck and call, the cell chirp of "new message" now has turned you into a Pavlov dog.

If you find that the majority of your relationship is spent texting each other everyday, and texting and online communication more than real interaction, he's using a couple different games here.

The number one is the one I went over already which is the "crack hit" game of only showing up in person occasionally, usually during a "hoover", which literally gets your brain condition to feel addicted to him and to "crave" seeing him again. He can keep you bound to him and keep his tabs on your via texting, so you still feel "connected" and it heightens seeing him again, especially if he dives into "sex texting." The anticipation of hooking up with him for real is intensified that much further. The second obvious game here is isolation. By constantly texting or chatting online with you, he can effectively manipulate you into believing you are "together" yet to the outer world, there IS no real relationship.

This makes it very easy for him to conduct more than one relationship at a time, to hide whether he is involved somewhere else or not, and so you look absolutely insane when you try to describe to other people what he's doing to you and how he's treating you in your "relationship". When people can't even take you two seriously, because they've never really seen you together, and the people in his life don't even know you exists-well, he has won when in the end, he can claim "we were never even in a relationship, we weren't even together really" and also when he can say to HIS people "This chick is crazy. She keeps texting me and calling me as if we were together, but we never committed, hell, I only saw her a handful of times in the past 6 months!"

If you have failed to save texts (hopefully, you have an Iphone like phone that will keep your text from someone for like, ever) then you literally have no "proof" that this relationship even happened. The only "witnesses" are your friends, those who you've raved and gushed to about him, bitched to about him, who question "why the hell haven't we met this dude?" and you defend with all the excuses he's given you.

It's happening, kids. These virtual, cyber, "invisible" relationships which are just as real, intense and abusive as any "traditional" relationship, are developing more and more. If you are dating a psycho in this manner, and you are not ready to get out of it, or you still think there's hope-whatever the case-start saving your text. Save emails. The ones he's sends, and the one's YOU send. This is where psycho's aren't really that smart.....because they have literally made it possible to document and have notes that clearly show the manipulations, games and insanity that is them. Hey-if it weren't for that, this blog wouldn't be as possible, believe me.