Game # 5: Jealous, much?

So, you are into him. He seems into you, though now, he's acting a bit distant. And now, in place of all the wonderful things he may say about himself (and sometimes you), now the start of breaking you down begins. One of the most effective ways is to start planting seeds of doubt within yourself. One of the most insidious forms of jealous and to control your relationships with the opposite sex, is to make you doubt yourself in relation to the opposite sex. Here's how it's done:

Mind controllers, who are often narcissist or people with heavily narcissistic traits- are extremely controlling but not always in the classic, stereotypical obvious ways. For example, they don’t always show jealousy or possessiveness openly. While they are very jealous and possessive people, they will not always let on that YOU have that power over them. Let’s look into this for a minute, because “jealously” is always on the list of red flags to look out for in a potential abuser.

Unfortunately, what these lists are telling woman to look for are the “overt, classic” signs of jealousy, for example, telling you that if you hang out with that man you are friends with he will dump you, you can’t go out looking like that, you are not allowed to talk to any ex’s, will accuse you of sleeping with another, or use tactics such as “you don’t love me” or “I saw you checking that guy out, what, are you fucking him?“ That’s the overt abuse signs. They won’t always call you every half hour when you are away from home. For the truly sinister, they don’t confront you with “Why are you talking to that guy, you want him don’t you?” sort of jealousy, or outright accuse you of sleeping with him-what they will suggest is that you are doing something to encourage and “Lead these men on.“ They will say, with a cool, rational confidence, that these other men paying attention to you are trying to use you, don’t care about you, only want sex from you, so you are stupid to believe in their “niceness” and attention. Then they will imply that you are teasing these men, seducing them and flirting with them and that is why these men think that they even have a chance with you. Tells you to “tone it down a notch”. They are suggesting that no man can be trusted, and that you “asking” to be used.

Here’s how the first conversation in the quest to brain wash and control you with to men may go.
Him: You know that friend of yours, Joe Blow-he seems like a good guy. But I’m wondering-I think he “likes” you.
You: “Ha ha, no way. Joe and I have been friends for years. Besides, he has a girlfriend. He has always been like a brother to me, and we’ve always been platonic.
Him: Well, that may be-but still. I’ve noticed how he looks at you. Us guys, we can tell stuff like this. And it doesn’t help, how you flirt with him.
You: Flirt with him? Are you serious? We are just friends. He knows that I don’t mean anything or that I don’t have that kind of attraction to him.
Him: Are you sure? I mean, I’ve noticed you are like that with a few guys. You are too friendly, too flirtatious. And it doesn’t help how you dress. I mean, you look great-but it’s a bit too sexy and I think the way you toss your head or touch his shoulders-he’s just waiting at his chance to get at you.
You: That’s ridiculous. Don’t you think I’d know by now, if he was trying to “get with” me?
Him: No, not at all. I mean, seriously, don’t be stupid. You do realize that unless a man is gay, the only reason that they are friends with a woman is that they are waiting for their chance to get her into bed? You might be a challenge to him, but trust me, I can tell. I can see it. He’d be happy to see me totally out the picture, so then you could cry on his shoulder and then he will take advantage of it. I KNOW, I am a man. Sucks, but that’s how guys are. I think you should really tone it down around him, and while you are at it, take a look at how you come across to guys.
You: Really? You seriously see that with Joe? Oh my god, I mean, I never meant to be flirtatious, I totally thought that he understood that we were just friends….
Him: Well I’m just saying. Don’t be surprised. I wouldn’t share too much about us with him, because he will use it to try and manipulate his way into your pants. And yeah, there’s a few other of your supposed guy “friends” who I also think are there for one reason. You are naïve, like all women who are dumb like you concerning men‘s motives, in thinking you can be friends with straight guys. Seriously.
You: God, I never really thought of it that way before. I guess I will have to watch what I’m doing now. I don’t want him thinking the wrong thing, especially now that I’m with you.

And from there, it’s lather, rinse, repeat. You will be told this in different ways, many different times, until this happens: You second guess every single male friend you have in your life that is straight. You become paranoid of their motives- not your lovers. You also take your “lovers” advice, and don’t share anything you are experiencing in your relationship with him. Here, your lover-abuser has managed to isolate you without you having to be physically isolated from anyone. You then begin to become self-conscious and doubtful of your own behaviors and interactions with men, and you even begin to look at how it is you may dress or dance or walk or talk, in relation to all men. You change it ALL. YOU actually chose to distance yourself from men, instead of your abuser “bullying” you into it. Not because you are insecure….but because you trust him and he is just giving you advice as a guy, the mind of which you really don’t know anything about. This is what Is known as “gas lighting”.

Also at first, you thinks he’s actually complimenting you-as if he’s saying “You are sexy and seductive, no wonder men mis-read you.“ But that’s not what he is inferring at all-especially when every man you interact with-even if it’s a pizza delivery guy, he finds you are “too flirtatious” or “You have that stupid personality of being too nice to people, so guys take that as a come-on”. If they see that another man shows an interest in you-it couldn’t possibly be because that man sees you as attractive, intelligent and interesting-or god forbid, it‘s an innocent exchange of pleasantries with no motives from either side-no, the motives of the other man is always just because you are being a tease and enticing them and all they want to do is use you because of it. That’s a mind captor’s form of “jealousy.“ It’s also “his stuff.” These men are the biggest projectors of their own evil. He‘s accusing your trusted friends, of exactly his own motives with you. That people, is one of the soft predators mind game. See how subtle and insidious? This form of abuse is extensively damaging-for this very reason. These men-they are good. But now you, are going to be better, because you too are going to start to ‘de-code.”

Eventually, this attitude of his could lead to jealous rages behind closed doors. But the intent here is to make you self- conscious of how you interact with men and to make you wonder if you aren’t being a tease and leading anyone on and of course-to instill a sense that the only man you can find trustworthy is him. Naturally, the first time he mentions this, you think it’s absurd. After repeated exposure-it begins to program you.

They say repetition is the best way to learn, and a habit is developed by repeating a behavior. These men are broken records. Rarely do they deviate from their scripts. It’s also the method of brainwashing. Or, they could be like one guy I was with-who simply said "It's cuz you're a slut" when he learns of you dating, or having dated. He then follows that with "What, it's not like you are a whore, you don't get paid for it. I'm just kidding, you are too sensitive, god" with a big smile on his face the whole time.