Why is he like this?

Why. The biggest word you find yourself saying in relation to being around these people. Why does he treat me this way, why does he do this? Not just "what is wrong with him", and then the frantic search for a label, but more importantly, why? What does he get out of this? Well, besides attention, ego feed, sex, money or whatever else he sees in it for him to associate with you-it boils down simply to POWER and CONTROL. Why does he need that? Lots of theories. He has no self esteem. He's insecure. He's been abused. Its Male Privilege. He hates women. He resents his mother. He's gay. There is LOTS of theories, but the simplest one: Because it WORKS for him. Yes, maybe he doesn't feel that he could secure anyone unless he controlled them. Maybe it makes him feel more powerful in the world, if he feels he doesn't have any. It makes him feel better about himself, to have someone so mailable.

But here is the fallacy of that: Not that they ever respected you to begin with, but it is a for sure thing, that the longer you let a guy abuse you in any way, the more respect he loses for you. The more respect he loses-the more he abuses you. It's a weird dichotomy in that he wants all this power and control, yet at the same time, seems to want to be punished for it. He doesn't want to get away with it. However, should you call him out or stand up against it-he seeks revenge, he's vindictive or uses it as the excuse for why he has mis-treated you. It's a sickness. It's crazy making shit you will lose your mind over, if you don't nip it in the bud. My abuser actually said "Well you let me be a jerk, and I didn't like that." "Let?" Is he fucking kidding me? As if I had all the power and control over HIS behaviors.

But, anytime I would stand up to it-well then that is why he was treating me as he was. I was "capable" of thinking negative thoughts against him. I could be "evil." They are the most contradictory people in the world. They will go from "I'm afraid to piss you off, because of what you would/could do to me" to "Oh, I just said that to piss you off." Well which is it, crazy pants?

When I asked him why he would WANT to piss me off, since he seemed to FEAR that so much, and then if I did get pissed off, he would then be mad at me.....his reply was "You weren't supposed to figure that out."

They do what they do, because they CAN. No one challenges them, and when they do, they twist and contort to bring it back around to the victim. They do it because they know that there are plenty of other targets out there, people who have a "tell", that they can manipulate and abuse into wanting and doing for them. They can't seem to secure love all on their own merits, they have to abuse and manipulate people into it, by fucking with their minds. Yeah, you could call that insecurity. Pathological insecurity. But, it works for them.

Feel sorry for them though-because the people they really believe they deserve to be with-they can't have UNLESS they abuse them. If you weren't under his spell.....you'd be gone. He knows it. I"m here to help people break through his nonsense. And they do know what they are doing, they do it on purpose-otherwise, why would they worry so much about exposure? But we will get to that. For now, let's get back to the game of how they argue.