No, I DO NOT HATE MEN

I have to insert this code for Technorati so they can find my blog. NCC3KY7F5DKN


Good excuse to blog again. This isn’t about men-bashing, men hating or denying that men’s lives have been destroyed by narcissistic psycho-type women in their lives. But that is not the norm. It could be that it’s happening more than we are aware of, simply because how men are socially conditioned to deal with women. When a woman has inflicted this pain, the typical reaction of a man’s support system-his friends and family- is to tell him to “man-up”, jump back on the horse by bedding down another woman and “Don’t let her get the best of you, man.” The severity and the emotional scars left by a narcissistic woman I think could often be worse for a man, since there really isn’t any support out there for men that deal with this form of domestic violence towards them.

I believe this imbalance of power can be found in ANY sort of relationship-homosexual, parent/child, boss/employee- it is not just limited to men vs. women. However, statics show that abuse occurs more often as men on women. This is factual.

Do women play a role in what happens to them? Of course. We all have choices. The problem in trying to explain these relationships and to educate others on them, is that the psychological abuse that is infiltrated onto women renders them unable to make informed choice. That is, they are brainwashed and manipulated to make the choice that they do. Are some women more susceptible to this than others? Sure. The same way some people are easier to hypnotize than others. But despite your background, any past issues of being abused, no matter what your vulnerabilities-there are just as many women who come from loving backgrounds, are successful, strong and capable, whose lives are destroyed by these types of men.

I’ve read the stories of ex-models, doctors, lawyers, successful self-made women, who have been victimized by the ‘soft predators’ in their lives. It really isn’t about low self worth, co-dependency or “women like jerks.” It’s about misconceptions, mythology, stereotypes and ignorance to what domestic violence really is. We all see images of other cultures where being abusive, oppressive and power/control over women is not only the standard, but acceptable. In our democratic culture-this mentality is lived out subtly, behind closed doors, and mostly, psychologically. It shouldn't be a dirty secret, a shame issue and an embarrassment to those of us who have fallen prey to it-but it is. This is another reason I am driven to do this-it only perpetuates the abuse further, by blaming ourselves for it.