Happy Hellidays

Like the story of Christmas, your baby Psycho was visited by three Not-So-Wise men at their birth. The 3 Not-So-Wise men were named User, Loser and Abuser. The gifts they gave to the baby psycho gave the psycho a Messiah Complex. And you dear woman-will be socially crucified in the end by him.

The holidays often bring up a difficult time in retrospect, if the psycho is gone from your life, or great disappointment if you are with one. A friend of mine has been involved with one of these soft predators. He asked her if she had received “a little blue box”, because according to the website, the package he sent to her had been delivered to her house. Now mind you-she works with this guy. He manages to find the time to come over for a few hours a couple times a week, for “pleasure.” Yet he is sending her a gift. And of course, any woman knows what a “little blue box” implies-a gift from Tiffany’s.

When she replied that she hadn’t received it, he told her “Well ask your neighbors, see if anyone else got it”-and she did. No one in her building had. He said “oh.” And that was THE LAST HE EVER MENTIONED IT. Not only did he not seem overly concerned that a package-from Tiffany’s on top of it-may be missing in action- HE NEVER PRODUCED IT. My friend never got her Christmas present. And neither one of them brought it up again.

Of course as an outsider to that, I was outraged for her. But I couldn’t really talk. I had just sent my abuser a Christmas card-with 25.00 in it. Not a lot of money-but I told him to take his kids to get this wickedly great hot chocolate that Starbucks had been promoting last year, the Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate. Guess what? Not only did he not acknowledge nor thank me for it-he never even mentioned receiving it. That is-not until 2 weeks later when all I got was “Thanks for the card.” What did he do for me? He texted me on Christmas Eve “Merry Christmas we need to talk soon.”

3 days after New Years, he shows up at my door, because “I know I’m on thin ice with you”, with MORE excuses for his shitty behavior. “I don’t feel attractive, I have nothing to offer, I’m waiting til I get my shit together”, etc.

Often times, especially the Holidays-we go out of our way for the psycho. We get the perfect gift, we get him something we think he will truly cherish-and from him, if we get anything at all-we get something generic and without much thought, and certainly not with the love and care we’ve put behind our gift.

You could argue that the holidays are not about gifts, or how much money you spend on another. And this is VERY true. It really is the thought that counts. Trouble is with a psycho-they don’t put much thought if any, and in the case of my friend-they lie, manipulate and “tease” with dangling a “thought”. Its also a time that if you are not married to him, you may find that he won’t spend these important days with you at all. Years after you’ve been involved with him.

The best present you can give yourself is to kick a psycho to the curb. You won’t be sorry in the long run. Let them be bah-humbug somewhere else, and go chase some ho ho ho’s. You won’t get Scrooged anymore. Give him a lump of coal, and be on your merry way.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you all!!